why hallo there, ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) kudz |
[22 Apr 2020|07:18pm] |
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[22 Apr 2010|07:23pm] |
I once married a girl whose answer to our petty fights was to kick me with every ounce of strength in the shin, enough to have me double over in laughter and pain. One, I was laughing because it was such a petty move, for two adults to be discussing something and of all sudden, bam. We're resorting to second grade antics in the whole 'if a girl beats you up or pick on you, that means they like you' scenario in less than five seconds. Two, there were tears in my eyes, I won't lie. She knew exactly how to hit right on the middle of the bone and send waves of pain radiating up and down my leg, to the tips of my toes. I knew I was in trouble every time she did that yet I didn't care one bit, especially when she heard me laughing and would literally stomp back in to unleash her wrath on my other shin. This would leave me hunched over in hysterics, the bedroom door being slammed shut only to be thrown open and the comforter and pillows from my side of the bed being dumped onto the floor and the sound of the door re-closing with a resounding crack that made the windows shudder and shake. It never failed though, that sometime in the middle of the night, the door would slowly crack open and the soft sound created form the balls of her feet against the hard wood would cause me to shift and there she would be, chin tilted upwards and green eyes staring downwards and then her hand would reach out and if I didn't take it for whatever reason (mostly because I knew I was right and I wanted her to know that), the couch would miraculously have enough room for two bodies that night to lay side by side. But when it was taken, the covers were gathered quietly from the cushions and hand in hand, she'd lead me back to the bed where we'd fall asleep and in the morning, it was as if nothing happened. No harsh words, no questions, no anything. It took me forever to realize why, too. She was always, one hundred percent, all of the time right.
Now our daughter, who now has another father from my recent marriage, does the same thing. She hasn't graduated to slamming doors shut but she has learned how to kick my shins whenever she doesn't get what she wants. I blame her mother for this and Nina blames me right back, for always being wrong. How is it that I am always wrong even when I'm right in the situation? Nonetheless, Eloise is picking up all the traits that is her beautiful mother, from her smile to her actions and I find myself staring at her constantly. I am a product of two divorces. I call three men "dad". I am barely on speaking terms with my biological father. Somehow, Nina doesn't hold me accountable for our marriage falling apart and for that, I am beyond lucky. Sometimes you just fall out of love, life throws things at you. And she has happily accepted Christopher into our lives. It's amazing to me how easily they get along, passing Eloise back back and and forth, discussing schools and places we're thinking about living. How she tolerates my constant need to have them both on the road with me and how if Christopher is on the road, that's where I'm going to be and she lets me take my little girl with us for days at a time. I may not be a rockstar, I may not be the best lyricist out there but I know I'm a good father. That's all I need to know.
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